suffering

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Should I Let a Priest Know How an Anointing Seemed to Help Me?”

Q: I’m reaching out because my priest administered the anointing of the sick for me because I’m very ill. This was last month. I’ve changed nothing in my treatment, and all of a sudden, I’m in remission from my illness. This is truly a miracle and I have not yet informed my priest about this update. How do you thank a priest for being Jesus for you? I figured I would write him a thank you note; however, it’s hard to find the right words. My last question is, do you think it would mean something to him to share this experience with him and how it impacted me? Thank you! – J.E.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: That is great to hear that you are in remission. One of the effects of the sacrament of the anointing of the sick is that God can bring physical healing if he wills (see Catechism 1520).

A note to the priest might be nice. Just use the same words you used, more or less, that you used in your question.

It would probably help the priest to hear about your improvement in health after reception of the anointing.

This can remind the priest of the marvelous way that Jesus is working through him.

I hope this helps. Count on my prayers.

 

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“Ask a Priest: What Does Suffering Mean to Catholics?”

Q: Since the moment I began to have interest in the Catholic faith, one thing has always stood out more than the rest. That is, what does suffering mean to Catholics? I always seem to find that Catholics who talk about their faith have a fascination with suffering. I don’t want to suffer. What does suffering mean to you? Do I have to undergo voluntary depression, or do I just embrace the difficulties that come naturally? – N.B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: The Catholic belief in suffering is that it can have redemptive value if we accept it with a spirit of faith and offer it back to God.

That is, we can unite our suffering with the suffering of Jesus on the cross.

A key underlying idea here is that suffering can have a positive value. It need not be pointless.

Put another way: God allows suffering in our lives because he can bring something good out of it.

If borne well, suffering can become a means of growth in holiness. Borne badly, it can drag a person into despair.

Suffering that leads to a growth in holiness can be classified under the categories of active purification and passive purification.

Active purification is a result of the efforts of the soul (helped by the Holy Spirit) who seeks to purify itself from sins, vices, imperfections and unhealthy attachments that would keep it from attaining holiness and union with God.

When we seek active purification we are, to a degree, provoking suffering for the sake of something greater.

Passive purification is something that God permits in a mature soul to prepare it for exceptional grace. It has been compared to a surgeon who first renders a patient passive by anesthesia in order to more easily effect a cure.

A few points are worth clarifying here.

First, God’s original plan for the world didn’t involve suffering. Suffering came as a result of original sin. Jesus’ freely accepted suffering on the cross won our redemption and gave us a chance at salvation.

Second, all of us will suffer. It is part of the human condition. Catholics don’t have a monopoly on suffering.

And joining the Church doesn’t mean you have to “undergo voluntary depression.” We aren’t masochists.

Rather, your embrace of the faith should ideally include an acceptance the sufferings that come along, recognizing that they have value if they are accepted patiently and for love of God and others.

You can pray, “Lord, I accept X for the conversion of sinners.” Or, “I accept this suffering in reparation for my past sins.” Or, “Jesus, I embrace my cross for love of others, just as you embraced your cross for love of me and for my redemption.”

This approach can help us grasp the meaning of St. Paul’s words, “I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church” (Colossians 1:24).

Many of us can recognize how suffering has helped us, how it brought our families and friends closer together, how it made us less self-centered and more compassionate toward others, how it humbled us.

Bishop Fulton Sheen famously stated, “There is nothing more tragic in all the world than wasted pain.” You might want to check out one of his 1950s broadcasts on suffering. And look at Peter Kreeft’s Making Sense Out of Suffering.

Be sure of this: Whether or not you enter the Church, you will have suffering. You don’t need to look for it; it will find you. The Church, however, can help you bear the suffering well.

 

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“Ask a Priest: How Can I Talk About the War With My Fallen-Away Son?”

Q: It breaks my heart that my 30-year-old son has fallen away from his Catholic faith. (I’ve got St. Monica on speed dial.) The other day I was sharing with him a wonderful experience that I had at church, and he made a comment under his breath about the tragedy of the war in Ukraine … you know where this is going. I tried to explain quickly (before I lost him) about a greater good, redemptive suffering, we may never know until the end what God was up to; about trust, original sin, and fallen humanity — but it all rang hollow. I hated that I did not have the 90-second elevator response which I’m not sure even exists for such a complex topic. Do you have a short book or article that addresses suffering on a large scale? I think individual suffering is easier to accept/understand (and hence, explain) then large-scale war where there is so much devastation, suffering and untimely death. Thank you for any help you can give me. – D.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about your son’s having fallen away from the Church. The Church still considers him a beloved son and prays for his return.

As for the phenomena of large-scale evils such as wars, there is no simple answer for why God allows them — at least an answer that will convince someone who is a bit alienated from the faith.

The problem of evil is something that has perplexed mankind for centuries. It was the big theme of the Book of Job.

You mention that the manifestation of evil might serve a “greater good, redemptive suffer” – and that is true.

Peter Kreeft in a post on suffering draws attention to suffering as an opportunity for Jesus to show his ongoing solidarity and closeness to us:

“But he came into life and death, and he still comes. He is still here. ‘As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me’ (Mt 25:40). He is here. He is in us and we are in him; we are his body. He is gassed in the ovens of Auschwitz. He is sneered at in Soweto. He is cut limb from limb in a thousand safe and legal death camps for the unborn strewn throughout our world, where he is too tiny for us to see or care about. He is the most forgotten soul in the world.”

Now, your son’s concern about the Ukraine war is certainly justified.

War really is not something that is aligned with God’s plan for man, and even a “just war” must be very carefully waged so as not to needlessly destroy society and individuals. For more reading see the Catechism’s section on safeguarding peace.

It is possible, however, that your son is wrestling with issues other than the war. The tragedy in Ukraine might have simply aggravated an underlying problem that he is dealing with.

I won’t try to guess what is bothering him. In any case it might be good to intensify your prayers and sacrifices for him and to try to keep open a dialogue.

For further reading you might look at Professor Kreeft’s Making Sense Out of Suffering.

In the meantime, keep St. Monica on speed dial.

 

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“Ask a Priest: How Can I Better Help the Needy?”

Q: Every time the Word condemns the rich, I feel a little afflicted because of how harshly the writer or Christ is speaking of them. I live quite comfortably and wonder how to go about living with my blessings. By keeping them with gratitude or by giving them to charity? I have attempted to cultivate austerity. I removed the decorations from my room and intended to sell some clothing. I actually like dressing nicely and having decorations in my room, but am attracted to giving them away if God wants me to. I try to glorify God by doing well in my vocational duties because those efforts are offered as a petition of help for the less fortunate, but I have this desire to serve God beyond my school work. I want to firsthand feed the hungry and clothe the naked but feel afflicted in the enjoyment I take in having a comfortable bed and yummy food when I read certain Bible verses. I enjoy the blankets on my legs as I write this but would give them away if God asked me to — in my coldness I would pray for selflessness. I have done similar things to abstain from comfort because I wanted to suffer for God. Am I inventing my own suffering in addition to my vocation? How do I go about living with these comforts? It’s kind of confusing. – L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s good that you are taking the words of Jesus seriously as regards riches. We live in a consumerist culture where many people rarely think to question their attachment to material goods.

It is good to remember that material things and food, etc., are not bad in and of themselves.

Jesus himself accepted invitations to dine at the house of people, some of them well-to-do (think Zacchaeus), and I’m sure they served nice meals for Our Lord. He didn’t reject those meals.

Nevertheless, Jesus did warn about people who ignored the poor, so this is something to be taken seriously.

From what you describe, you don’t seem to be ignoring the poor. You seem to be aware of the need to help the impoverished.

Yet you seem to be inspired to sacrifice more. Perhaps this nudge is coming from the Holy Spirit. It might be God’s way of inviting you to a more radical following of Jesus. In that case it would be an inspiration worth paying attention to.

Sacrifices can be made in little things each day – a skipped dessert, an item of clothing donated to the poor, the price of a movie ticket given to a pro-life crisis pregnancy center.

It’s good to remember that the time God gives us in this world is time we have to give him glory and to become saints. So, it would be good to keep your sights high. God wants you to become a saint.

Helping you on the road to holiness could be those moments of privation that arise occasionally – a missed meal or a loss of a favored item, for instance.

The Holy Spirit could be nudging you not just toward giving more to the needy, but to a deeper and more intentional Christian discipleship. To that end, you might want to take time to pray through the short chapters in this book, 60 Days to Becoming a Missionary Disciple.

Also, it might help to seek out a regular confessor and/or spiritual director to guide you.

Whatever you do, don’t get too comfortable with nice clothes and yummy food. For Luke 12:23 warns, “Life is more than food and the body more than clothing.”

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“Ask a Priest: Why Be Afraid of Death?”

Q: If our goal is heaven, why are we so afraid of death? I was raised in a good Catholic family. My older sister just had her firstborn son last year. It was a premature birth, but my first nephew was really active and healthy. However, God decided to take him back six days later, when my little nephew died from a blood infection. I still remember my sister and parents crying. I have never cried so much in my life. I always think that my nephew is now living a very happy life in heaven, lying close to Jesus. And he probably met my cousin who died a week later due to COVID-19. I do not know what heaven looks like, but that is what I choose to believe. Why are we so afraid of death if we believe there is heaven waiting? Why does God put us in this world and make us experience death in order to enter his everlasting Kingdom? – R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Please accept my condolences for your family on the death of the baby and the cousin. It must have been especially heartbreaking to lose the little one.

As for your questions, it might be good to unpack them a bit.

First, death is not natural. It wasn’t part of God’s original plan for the world. Death and suffering entered because of the sin of our first parents.

We are body and soul together, and we instinctively chafe at the idea of death. Even Jesus sweated blood in the Gethsemane, thinking of his impending death. So, it’s normal that we should fear death. In and of itself death isn’t appealing. It’s a kind of defeat of our bodily dimension.

Now, it is useful to distinguish between the fear of death and the fear of dying.

In a moment of calm, we can intellectually and morally accept that death is simply a door that can lead to the afterlife. Our faith teaches us as much.

It’s a different case, however, when a loved one actually dies. That can hit us hard, and understandably so. We feel a deep loss. Even Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus (John 11:35). So, it’s not incongruous that your “good Catholic family” would weep at the death of the little one, even as they had the hope he was with Our Lord.

Or take the case of our own declining health, with its struggles and agonies — the process of dying can be frightening.

This is one reason why the sacrament of the anointing of the sick can be so helpful. The Catechism in No. 1520 says, “The first grace of this sacrament is one of strengthening, peace and courage to overcome the difficulties that go with the condition of serious illness or the frailty of old age.”

A separate issue is heaven. As Christians we can have the hope of heaven, and this is why we can still be optimistic even as we fear death itself.

Our hope in heaven, however, should be balanced. We should be careful not to presume that all of us will get to heaven automatically.

We can be sure that a baptized baby is in heaven. But we who reach the age of reason need to cooperate with God’s grace through our prayers and reception of the sacraments and our almsgiving, etc.

If we try to lead a good life and stay humble, we can have a reasonable certainty that we are on the right path. But again, we want to avoid presumption.

On the other hand, someone who isn’t leading a good life might by motivated by the fear of death to repent and make peace with God.

Returning to the first point above, it’s good to remember that death was not part of God’s original plan. Sin mysteriously brought death into the world.

Nevertheless, God allowed this to happen since he is able to bring something good out of it.

What could that “good” be?

Pope Benedict XVI in his encyclical Spe Salvi quoted from Saint Ambrose in the funeral discourse for his deceased brother Satyrus:

“‘Death was not part of nature; it became part of nature. God did not decree death from the beginning; he prescribed it as a remedy. Human life, because of sin … began to experience the burden of wretchedness in unremitting labor and unbearable sorrow. There had to be a limit to its evils; death had to restore what life had forfeited. Without the assistance of grace, immortality is more of a burden than a blessing.’ A little earlier, Ambrose had said: ‘Death is, then, no cause for mourning, for it is the cause of mankind’s salvation’” (No. 10).

Death can also teach us to appreciate the gift of life more, and prompt us to use our time in this world wisely and well.

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“Ask a Priest: Couldn’t Jesus Just Have Died a Natural Death?”

Q: I understand Jesus was the perfect sacrifice, but because humans murdered him, is it like a sin trying to remove sin itself? A rough analogy would be if I rubbed out a stain with my finger but my finger is oily. Yes, the stain is gone but now there is a new oily stain. Why didn’t God the Father just will the Son to die of a disease/accident instead of murder? – J.N.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your question is the kind that keeps theologians busy. A proper answer could easily fill a book.

Suffice it to say that it was Jesus’ loving obedience to the Father that redeemed us by re-establishing communion between mankind and God. It was man’s sinfulness that made Jesus’ obedience so painful.

Our Lord’s willingness to accept that pain without giving up on us is a beautiful and inexhaustibly rich expression of how much God loves and values us.

If Jesus had died of disease, the sacrificial and loving nature of his death would have been lost on us. Rather, he wanted to let us know that he was willing to die for our redemption.

That people put Jesus to death was an extraordinary way by which God shows that he can bring good out of evil. God wanted to send his Son, the fullness of what he wanted to reveal to the world, and the fact that the world put Jesus to death is part of the mystery of the plan of redemption.

God didn’t will that people would kill his Son, but he did foresee that act and had already incorporated it into his plan for redemption. And what seemed a horrific end for Jesus was actually his great victory, for by his death he showed a victory over sin.

This is part of the mystery that surrounds Our Lord’s passion and death. For more insights into the theology of Christ’s suffering, you might find Inside the Passion well worth your time.

You could spend a life contemplating Jesus’ suffering … which might have been part of God’s plan all along.

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“Ask a Priest: Is There Cause for Hope?”

Q: Can you tell me what else I can do besides praying night and day for peace and empathy in our world? It is hard not to enjoy the beautiful gifts God has given to me, without realizing everywhere I turn that there is endless suffering and hatred. Sometimes I wonder what heaven will be like, because only there will I know that suffering doesn’t exist. Please tell me whatever ways you think can help me cope. I enjoy volunteering when I can. I donate to the animal shelters when my finances permit, and I have a wonderful job as a nurse assistant helping the elderly at a nursing home. And I know that statement sounds as though I’m getting on a soapbox or something, but I just want to illustrate that I am trying to help others. And it does make me feel better. But at the end of the day I still have an awful depression hanging over me, knowing that there are people who are dealing with far worse things than I am. – B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You are feeling what a lot of people are feeling nowadays — a sense that the world is a hopelessly nasty place that we can’t do much to change.

The world has a nasty place, thanks to original sin and its fallout. Genesis gives us a taste of this: Soon after the fall of Adam and Eve comes the infamous story of Cain and Abel.

Perhaps a few ideas are worth mentioning here.

First, God hasn’t given up on the world. In fact, he sent his own Son to suffer and die on a cross for our redemption. If Jesus hadn’t come into the world, the world would be a much nastier place. And he didn’t wait for the world to improve — he jumped in and offered a new message.

That message has transformed the lives of hundreds of millions of people. One result is that there is a lot of good around us that we can see.

Second, Jesus is God, and even he didn’t convert the world. We shouldn’t hope to do it, either. But we aren’t asked to change the world. We are asked to help change that little part of the world that God assigns to us.

That part of the world might be the nursing home where you work, or your family, or the block on which you live, or your parish. Use your energy to help the people around you, and you will have a sense of improving at least some lives.

Beyond the work, it would be good to cultivate your prayer life and sacramental life. That is one of the best ways to nourish a sense of hope. Do this, and you will better help the world, for your growth in holiness gives glory to God and lets him work through you more effectively.

At the end of the day it’s God who is in charge. He has his reasons for allowing evil to thrive here and there. Our Lord can bring good out of evil. His timing might be mysterious, and his ways might be mysterious, but that is to be expected. God works at a much higher level than we do.

It’s good to remember that Christianity isn’t about cursing the darkness. It’s about lighting a candle and dispelling the darkness little by little. In God’s time, not ours.

For more reading you might look at Peter Kreeft’s Making Sense Out of Suffering and Heaven, the Heart’s Deepest Longing.

To further fuel your prayer life, you might consider listening to one or more of our Retreat Guides. I hope some of this helps.

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Eustace Mita and Reflections on the Gospel 

Did you ever meet someone who wanted to be Job?

You remember Job. He was that prosperous man in the Old Testament known for his unshakable faith in God. Satan bet God that given enough hardship, the faithful Job would lose his faith.

So God let Satan visit upon Job all manner of suffering, from poverty to illness to loss of family. Job ended up with just his faith. And because he kept his faith, everything he lost was restored and more. God won the bet. (You knew he would.)

Eustace Mita has lived a modern version of Job’s experience.  Though he wasn’t the subject of a wager between Heaven and Hell, God did hear his prayer. And Eustace may be a prime example of the power of prayer – and why you should never ask for something in prayer you aren’t prepared to accept.

Like Job, Eustace experienced success and prosperity, accompanied by a strong faith. He grew up in a Philadelphia suburb and attended St. Mathias Grade School, Archbishop John Carroll High School, and Drexel University.

After college, he ran a small business in Dallas for a couple years, then returned to Philadelphia to work for Chilton, the big automotive publisher.

But, he always wanted to be an auto dealer, so his next career stop was working for the dealer he admired most: Roger Penske. After three years learning the ropes, he struck out on his own and started Mita Leasing. He joined forces with his uncle (who had pioneered personal auto leasing) and built a highly successful business, Half a Car.

In 2000 he and his uncle sold the automotive training and management company, Half a Car, to Reynolds & Reynolds, a Fortune 500 company. Then his interests shifted more to real estate and hotels.  Life was good.

Eustace was the middle child in a family of five children.  He and his wife had five children who over time have produced 14 grandchildren.

In 2000 at a family gathering, he met Br. John Connor, LC, who would later be ordained to the priesthood and today is the North American Territorial Director for the Legion of Christ and Regnum Christ. That meeting would pave the way for Eustace to handle his experience wearing Job’s shoes.

“I was a serious practicing Catholic, a daily communicant,” Eustace recalled. “But a couple questions from Fr. John showed me I had many more things to learn.”

Fr. John asked Eustace if he had a spiritual director. Eustace replied that not only didn’t he have one, but he had no idea what one was. Fr. John volunteered for the job and Eustace invited him in.

Fr. John’s next question was about what apostolate Eustace was working on.  Of course, Eustace again admitted he didn’t know what an apostolate is. (As anyone who knows Fr. John – or most any Legionary, for that matter – knows where such an answer can lead your path.)

“I think you should start a gospel reflection group for businessmen like you,” Fr. John advised. And so he did, with suggestions from Fr. John about how to organize it, the format, and how to go about inviting others to participate.

Eustace had been involved in a Bible study group before and had found it a bit frustrating. This was different.  It wasn’t about interpreting the Bible, but reflecting on God’s word and sharing how it related to our individual lives. It started as an occasional meeting, then became weekly, then grew – a lot.

From one small group it has expanded to more than 100 groups with 1,000 men participating across Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Maryland.  The little group in his office now has 50 members who gather weekly in person – and many more who join by phone from as far away as California and Europe.

Eustace was successful in business. But as his role as Job unfolded, it was the experience of the gospel reflection group, the strength in his faith, that sustained him.

His Job moment because, surprisingly, during an hour of adoration in 2007.  Eustace is a firm believer in making annual goals in four areas of his life: financial, relational, health, spiritual. He had decided to focus on humility as his spiritual goal for the next year and in adoration asked God to guide him.

He sensed God’s response clearly and directly: “Are you sure, Eustace? I will do this, but it will be painful.”

Eustace prayed in response that he was sure and only asked God to guide him through whatever happened. And a lot happened.

For many businesses and investors, 2008 was a disaster.  It was, in human terms, a year of disasters for Eustace.  A son was diagnosed with brain cancer. A daughter was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. His business interests tanked and he lost two-thirds of his net worth. He really did feel like Job.

But like Job, he kept his faith. He never asked “why me, God?” He simply prayed to God for His guidance. And business got better and incurable illnesses were survived.

Today, the gospel reflection groups continue to grow.  Eustace has a guidebook and materials – Gospel Reflection in a Box – for men starting a group.  He says he has made all the organizational mistakes so others don’t have to.

“We live in a wounded world,” Eustace says. “Men are coming to the groups because they are hurting.  Then they are filled by the faith, and the healing begins.”

He recalls one man who was devastated after losing his son.  Eustace invited him to the group, but he wasn’t interested. So Eustace gave the man a book he thought would be comforting. Eventually, he read the book, starting coming to a group and now is a group leader. And a living example of faith in our Lord.

“Guys have worked through and been healed from all sorts of addictions,” according to Eustace. “Every week something great happens – the Holy Spirit is really in this room and working.”

Eustace says there are difficult times in life, but the struggle has made him a better husband, father, and grandfather. He maintains his own “spiritual armor” signified by the acronym “ARM” – Adoration, Rosary, Mass.

And while the gospel reflection groups play a key role in the lives of many men, they also formed the basis for a much larger event launched first in 2002 by Eustace and friends: Man Up Philly.

Man Up Philly is a once-per-year conference focused on men to energize and enable men to be better sons, fathers, and husbands, by living their faith and leading their families by example. It is a day filled with inspirational speakers that over the years has included athletes like Mike Piazza, Rich Gannon, Phil Martelli, Fran Dunphy and other notables like Philadelphia Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey and Camden police chief J. Scott Thomson, who are constantly working to bring their faith into their everyday lives.

Man Up Philly has become a major annual event. And it appears to be contagious (yes, Eustace and friends have created May Up in a Box) and is being planned for New Jersey and New York.

For Eustace Mita, the gospel reflection group, combined with his regular practice of the faith, an annual retreat (led by a Legionary), and the grace of God have brought a good life, gratitude, and (like Job) humility.

Maybe more men should be asking to be like Job.

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“Ask a Priest: What If My Grieving Brother Lost His Faith in Jesus?”

Q: I have a brother who lost his wife due to cancer. She was young and a very strong Christian. She did not want to be put on drugs to save her, for she was in the last stages. She prayed very hard for God to “take the devil out of her.” I believe he did just that when he took her to heaven. My brother, though, does not believe in Jesus Christ any longer. His wife was such a devout Christian, and he thinks Jesus did not hear her pleas. How can I make my brother believe that Christ is truly here with us and hearing our prayers? He believes now that once you’re gone, that’s it. Thanks for any help you can give me. – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Please accept my condolences on the passing of your sister-in-law. The presence of death and evil is one of the great mysteries of this world. How do we reconcile this with the existence of an all-powerful, all-loving God?

There is no simple answer. This question has puzzled mankind for millennia. The Book of Job confronted this question, though its answers still leave many people guessing.

Perhaps the best answer is Christ himself. No one was more innocent than he, yet he suffered and died a terrible death for our redemption. Moreover, it was God the Father who sent his Son to die for us. That is a remarkable sign of his love for all of us.

As for pain and evil in the world, it seems that God allows them in order to bring about something good.

Why did the family see your sister-in-law as a devout Christian? Probably because of her faith  and charity and humility. And why did she stand out for these virtues? Probably because they are relatively hard to find nowadays.

In other words, her goodness stood out, and was appreciated by those around her, precisely because she was a contrast to the widespread evil in the world. This is one paradoxical way that God brings good out of bad — we can see the beauty of a devout Christian more clearly against a dark background.

Perhaps, too, your sister-in-law offered up her suffering for the salvation of souls. Maybe her example inspired others and led others to a deeper conversion. We won’t be sure about this until the last judgment. But we can have faith that God was able to bring something good out of her suffering.

For now, it is understandable that your brother is grieving. And if his faith is a bit weak, it is understandable that he is seeing things in the worst light.

At an opportune moment it might be good to remind your brother that he can have the hope of being reunited with his wife someday. But he will have to try to stay close to Jesus as she did. How else could her holiness be explained, but by her closeness to Our Lord?

Also, when the time is right, you might want to help your brother remember all the good that he received through the gift of his wife in his life. We are all going to die. Death is a guarantee for each of us.

That his wife died sooner than he would have preferred doesn’t negate the beauty and the goodness of his relationship with her during the years that she was still here. It’s all a matter of what we choose to focus our attention on.

And who is to say that God, instead of giving her a cure for cancer, didn’t give her something better: entrance to paradise?

From what you describe, it sounds as though your sister-in-law was deeply touched by her relationship with Jesus, and that bond strengthened her till the end of her life. We can easily imagine that she now prays that the husband she left behind will discover the value of that same kind of relationship.

For more reading you might look at Making Sense Out of Suffering, by Peter Kreeft.

Count on my prayers for you and your family.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!