Job

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If a Co-worker Is a Chatterbox and Lies?”

Q: I work with a difficult co-worker who can talk constantly about frivolous things, is overly dramatic, nosy and lies. I find it a struggle to deal with her. Most of the time, I remain silent when she is talking. She repeats the same stories all day long. My job can be intense — I give cancer patients’ their radiation treatment so I do need to focus. I have a hard time because I feel I have nothing to say back to her regarding her stories. Am I sinning if I remain silent? I notice I can be gloomy around her because her constant chatter bothers me. Any advice for me? – D.D.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: People who chatter constantly and lie a lot probably have deep-rooted problems.

It’s a reminder that the people who suffer the most aren’t always people in hospital beds. She probably has things she is wrestling with.

In that sense she probably needs a lot of help. Perhaps the best thing is to pray for her. And if keeping silent with her helps you, fine.

Then again, when you see an opportune moment to raise the level of conversation, you might do so. “Yes, that is interesting … that reminds me of something I read in the Gospel this morning. Jesus says such-and-such … don’t you agree?” Do that often enough, and it might either help to raise her level of conversation, or keep her at arm’s length.

If her chatter distracts you during your work, you might want to speak with a supervisor. The constant chatter could put patients at risk if it is distracting you in the middle of work.

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Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: It Is OK If My Job Keeps Me From Sunday Mass?”

Q: I am starting a new job with hours 9 a.m. to 8 p.m., Saturday through Tuesday. This being said, I will be unable to fulfill my Sunday obligation at any of the Masses within an hour of my home. I desire deeply to go to Mass, but I also feel like this job is the right move for me. I accepted the job prayerfully and thoughtfully. Will I still be able to receive the Eucharist if I attend Mass on my days off during the week? Thank you. – Rachel

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You ask whether you can still receive the Eucharist if you take this job and miss Sunday Mass. That seems to indicate that you suspect that missing Mass might not be OK.

This kind of suspicion usually doesn’t arise when someone has arrived at a decision “prayerfully and thoughtfully.” To arrive at things prayerfully implies that the Holy Spirit is leading the way. But it’s unlikely that the Spirit would guide people into situations that they suspect might keep them from being able to receive Communion.

I mention this first in order to show that we need to be careful about the conclusions we embrace.

Now, there are times when work can be a legitimate reason for missing Sunday Mass. This is especially the case when the work is an essential service dealing with public safety, such as doctors and nurses and police and fire protection.

Here you might want to keep a few things in mind.

First, it is laudable that someone attends Mass on a weekday. But technically that isn’t a substitute for a Sunday Mass. The precept of the Church asks us to honor the Lord’s Day.

Second, is there no alternative to the Sunday work? Is it an essential service that you are providing?

Part of the idea of the Sunday precept is that we give God special time on that day.

You might ask yourself, in the big scheme of things, whether this job should have priority over Sunday worship. If you are providing for a family (children to feed) and there is no ready alternative, that is one thing. But if others aren’t heavily dependent on your paycheck, that is a different kind of situation.

Also, you might ask what kind of precedent you are setting for yourself. If today you are willing to forgo Sunday Mass for the sake of a job, what else might prompt you to forgo Mass in the future?

I don’t want to get you discouraged with these questions. But it would be good to step back and look at the big picture of your life and ask what kind of priorities will guide you.

Remember, too, that the decisions you make might sooner or later impact the lives of loved ones and the way they live their faith.

For related reading, see Pope St. John Paul II’s apostolic letter Dies Domini (The Lord’s Day).

It might be a good idea to speak with your pastor. He might be able to guide you further.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Eustace Mita and Reflections on the Gospel 

Did you ever meet someone who wanted to be Job?

You remember Job. He was that prosperous man in the Old Testament known for his unshakable faith in God. Satan bet God that given enough hardship, the faithful Job would lose his faith.

So God let Satan visit upon Job all manner of suffering, from poverty to illness to loss of family. Job ended up with just his faith. And because he kept his faith, everything he lost was restored and more. God won the bet. (You knew he would.)

Eustace Mita has lived a modern version of Job’s experience.  Though he wasn’t the subject of a wager between Heaven and Hell, God did hear his prayer. And Eustace may be a prime example of the power of prayer – and why you should never ask for something in prayer you aren’t prepared to accept.

Like Job, Eustace experienced success and prosperity, accompanied by a strong faith. He grew up in a Philadelphia suburb and attended St. Mathias Grade School, Archbishop John Carroll High School, and Drexel University.

After college, he ran a small business in Dallas for a couple years, then returned to Philadelphia to work for Chilton, the big automotive publisher.

But, he always wanted to be an auto dealer, so his next career stop was working for the dealer he admired most: Roger Penske. After three years learning the ropes, he struck out on his own and started Mita Leasing. He joined forces with his uncle (who had pioneered personal auto leasing) and built a highly successful business, Half a Car.

In 2000 he and his uncle sold the automotive training and management company, Half a Car, to Reynolds & Reynolds, a Fortune 500 company. Then his interests shifted more to real estate and hotels.  Life was good.

Eustace was the middle child in a family of five children.  He and his wife had five children who over time have produced 14 grandchildren.

In 2000 at a family gathering, he met Br. John Connor, LC, who would later be ordained to the priesthood and today is the North American Territorial Director for the Legion of Christ and Regnum Christ. That meeting would pave the way for Eustace to handle his experience wearing Job’s shoes.

“I was a serious practicing Catholic, a daily communicant,” Eustace recalled. “But a couple questions from Fr. John showed me I had many more things to learn.”

Fr. John asked Eustace if he had a spiritual director. Eustace replied that not only didn’t he have one, but he had no idea what one was. Fr. John volunteered for the job and Eustace invited him in.

Fr. John’s next question was about what apostolate Eustace was working on.  Of course, Eustace again admitted he didn’t know what an apostolate is. (As anyone who knows Fr. John – or most any Legionary, for that matter – knows where such an answer can lead your path.)

“I think you should start a gospel reflection group for businessmen like you,” Fr. John advised. And so he did, with suggestions from Fr. John about how to organize it, the format, and how to go about inviting others to participate.

Eustace had been involved in a Bible study group before and had found it a bit frustrating. This was different.  It wasn’t about interpreting the Bible, but reflecting on God’s word and sharing how it related to our individual lives. It started as an occasional meeting, then became weekly, then grew – a lot.

From one small group it has expanded to more than 100 groups with 1,000 men participating across Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Maryland.  The little group in his office now has 50 members who gather weekly in person – and many more who join by phone from as far away as California and Europe.

Eustace was successful in business. But as his role as Job unfolded, it was the experience of the gospel reflection group, the strength in his faith, that sustained him.

His Job moment because, surprisingly, during an hour of adoration in 2007.  Eustace is a firm believer in making annual goals in four areas of his life: financial, relational, health, spiritual. He had decided to focus on humility as his spiritual goal for the next year and in adoration asked God to guide him.

He sensed God’s response clearly and directly: “Are you sure, Eustace? I will do this, but it will be painful.”

Eustace prayed in response that he was sure and only asked God to guide him through whatever happened. And a lot happened.

For many businesses and investors, 2008 was a disaster.  It was, in human terms, a year of disasters for Eustace.  A son was diagnosed with brain cancer. A daughter was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. His business interests tanked and he lost two-thirds of his net worth. He really did feel like Job.

But like Job, he kept his faith. He never asked “why me, God?” He simply prayed to God for His guidance. And business got better and incurable illnesses were survived.

Today, the gospel reflection groups continue to grow.  Eustace has a guidebook and materials – Gospel Reflection in a Box – for men starting a group.  He says he has made all the organizational mistakes so others don’t have to.

“We live in a wounded world,” Eustace says. “Men are coming to the groups because they are hurting.  Then they are filled by the faith, and the healing begins.”

He recalls one man who was devastated after losing his son.  Eustace invited him to the group, but he wasn’t interested. So Eustace gave the man a book he thought would be comforting. Eventually, he read the book, starting coming to a group and now is a group leader. And a living example of faith in our Lord.

“Guys have worked through and been healed from all sorts of addictions,” according to Eustace. “Every week something great happens – the Holy Spirit is really in this room and working.”

Eustace says there are difficult times in life, but the struggle has made him a better husband, father, and grandfather. He maintains his own “spiritual armor” signified by the acronym “ARM” – Adoration, Rosary, Mass.

And while the gospel reflection groups play a key role in the lives of many men, they also formed the basis for a much larger event launched first in 2002 by Eustace and friends: Man Up Philly.

Man Up Philly is a once-per-year conference focused on men to energize and enable men to be better sons, fathers, and husbands, by living their faith and leading their families by example. It is a day filled with inspirational speakers that over the years has included athletes like Mike Piazza, Rich Gannon, Phil Martelli, Fran Dunphy and other notables like Philadelphia Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey and Camden police chief J. Scott Thomson, who are constantly working to bring their faith into their everyday lives.

Man Up Philly has become a major annual event. And it appears to be contagious (yes, Eustace and friends have created May Up in a Box) and is being planned for New Jersey and New York.

For Eustace Mita, the gospel reflection group, combined with his regular practice of the faith, an annual retreat (led by a Legionary), and the grace of God have brought a good life, gratitude, and (like Job) humility.

Maybe more men should be asking to be like Job.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!