faith archivos

Faith Pondered

May 23, 2023 / Weekly Message

Dear Friends,

In this month of Mary, I wanted to offer reflections on the Annunciation and faith from a retreat I gave early this month. I hope you are blessed by these reflections.

Mary’s faith began based on her knowledge of God’s faithfulness to her people. She believed that God is faithful. All the stories she heard growing up tell of God’s faithfulness: Noah and the Ark, Abraham and Sarah, Jacob who became Israel, Joseph who became pharaoh’s right hand, Moses who brought the Israelites to the Promised Land, David, Solomon, the lives of the prophets. She also surely based this faith on her parents’ faith in God and all that they had told her. Mary’s faith at the beginning of her life was based on what she knew of God’s faithfulness to others.

The “let it be done to me” (Lk. 1:38) she spoke at the Annunciation was a consent to let God do through her as she heard he did through others. This is what struck Elizabeth so much that she commented on it, “Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled” (Lk. 1:45).

Mary had to deal with obstacles to her faith right away: she was pregnant and engaged, but the baby was not her husband’s. She kept her claim to be mother of the Messiah quiet. The very people she could usually rely on for safety and protection were those who could also legitimately condemn her. In this situation, only God could be her protector, and he was. Elizabeth’s infant leapt in her womb and was filled with the Holy Spirit. Joseph had dreams.

If the Annunciation was just Mary’s hallucination, it would have swiftly been put to rights. Instead, all obstacles were overcome, because she kept believing that the one who called her would faithfully fulfill His promises. Her faith was confirmed, over and over, because she took the risk to believe that it would. She no longer believed only because of others’ faith, but through her own experience.

While many external factors could contradict faith, it never seemed to me that Mary had internal contradictions with her faith. She did have questions; however, they didn’t seem to contradict her faith: “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”( Lk. 1:34). “Son, why have you done this to us?” (Lk. 2:48). These are questions of clarification, not doubt or disbelief.

It is important to remember this when questions come up in my own heart. When I’m asking God for something, and perhaps, it seems he doesn’t answer or the answer is not what I expected, what do I do with that? Mary pondered in her heart. Do I ponder in my heart?

Pondering in your heart is an act of patience. The answer doesn’t always become clear right away. It takes time. It requires my openness. Mary was patient and attentive. She waited for the will of God to become clear to her.

As Mary pondered her life and circumstances in her heart, her trust in God grew because she continually had her faith confirmed. What God promised her continually came about. Trust increases when faith is confirmed. Even in the moments when she didn’t understand God’s plans at first, perhaps especially in those moments, as her life went on and she continued to reflect in her heart on what happened, God’s plan was revealed to her, and her trust grew as her acts of faith were justified. It didn’t matter whether others saw or understood. What mattered is that she saw it.

I invite you to ponder God’s fidelity in your own life for your acts of faith in Him and to allow it to increase your trust.

In Christ,

Nicole Buchholz

Faith Pondered Read More »

Who Holds your Key?

February 21, 2023 / Weekly Message

Dear Friends,

My older brother was born with Down’s Syndrome. I could fill volumes with Michael’s antics and the little lessons he taught me over his nearly 60 years of life, but I would like to share just one. Some years past, an uncle suffered a stroke, and there was a concern he might not survive. Michael had experienced family funerals, so the matter’s seriousness did not escape him. My parents brought him to my house for “sister time” on their way to the hospital.

At one point in this visit, he crooked his finger at me to follow him. He said, “Come into my office.” I chuckled to myself as “his office” was really my office. He shut the door, led me to a chair, and told me to “sit.” He then sat next to me, leaned forward to look at me with tears filling his eyes, and said, “My mom told me that when I die, Jesus is going to take me to heaven.” Getting choked up myself, I said, “That is right, Mike. And there will be such a party that day when all the angels and saints are singing and dancing.” Michael loves many things, but parties and dancing are among his favorites.

By now, tears are streaming down his face, and he leans forward even more to ask, “But how is he going to get me out of that box (casket)?” With my heart aching for his anxiety, I answered, “Oh, Michael, Jesus has the key.” In an instant, his face was swallowed by a smile that stretched from ear to ear. He said, “OK,” stood up, wiped his face on his shirt sleeve, and walked back to his Star Wars movie, completely at peace. I sat there and thought, “Oh, Donna, Ye of little faith.” No matter how challenging life’s situations are, Jesus holds the key. It really is that simple.

My brother was born with imperfect physical abilities, and imperfect cognitive abilities—but he possesses perfect faith. I pray everyone who reads this reflection can be blessed with faith like Mike.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary,
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Yours in the Heart of Jesus,

Donna Garrett

NOTE: Donna’s brother, Michael, passed away on February 15, 2023.

Who Holds your Key? Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If I Don’t Feel Up to My Boyfriend’s Level of Faith?”

April 5, 2022 / Ask a Priest

Q: My boyfriend of almost four years is Catholic and is interested in the continual development of his faith. His ideals are that we work on our faith together by going to Mass, confession and praying together, etc. I consider my Catholic faith to be a part of my life but not something that defines me, whereas faith is very much his whole life. When he discussed more about the idea of our getting married, I decided to put the relationship on hold. I did this because I felt that I needed to engage in more introspection on my own faith and consider what our lives would be like, together forever, with such varying levels of spiritual understanding and commitment. I am interested in discovering more about myself and how I identify with the Catholic faith. Is there anything you could suggest I do to further my understanding and discover if this is something meant for me? And, is it selfish to continue in this relationship if I know I won’t be someone who helps him develop his faith and spirituality? — A.M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You mention, “If this is something meant for me.”

If you mean the Catholic faith, I would say yes, definitely. Jesus wants everyone to embrace the fullness of what he revealed and passes down through the Church.

To learn more about the faith it would help to read the Youth Catechism (YouCat) or the heavier Catechism of the Catholic Church. You might also find useful some of the resources at Catholics Come Home.

You might want to consider doing a retreat at a solid Catholic retreat center. If you later get engaged, think of doing a “Three to Get Married” retreat.

As for continuing the relationship even if you don’t think you can help your friend develop in this faith: Relationships aren’t static. They grow, they mature.

Your friend is probably influencing you for the better, and you might be doing the same, though in a different way. In other words, your friend’s presence in your life could be God’s particular blessing with you.

That your faith might not be as strong as his could be an incentive for your friend to intensify his prayers and sacrifices for you, which in turn could help his faith grow. Your willingness to examine your own life more can be an exercise in humility, which could help you grow in your faith.

The upshot is: Don’t be too quick to give up on the relationship.

It sounds as though there is a lot of good will here, on your part and your boyfriend’s.

Remember, too, that marriage is a sacrament which brings its own graces for spouses.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: What If I Don’t Feel Up to My Boyfriend’s Level of Faith?” Read More »

“Ask a Priest: What If My Girlfriend Wouldn’t Want Our Kids Raised Catholic?”

December 10, 2021 / Ask a Priest

Q: My girlfriend of five months is the sweetest girl and truly has a deep love for Jesus. Despite marriage being far away, I wanted to talk to her about some of the aspects of a Catholic marriage. She’s open to marrying in a Catholic church. However, she doesn’t see herself being Catholic and isn’t sure if she wants our kids to be Catholic. As the Catholic in the relationship, I understand it is my duty to do everything I can to have our kids baptized in the faith and raise them as Catholics. I know God has a plan, but I’ve never loved anyone like I do her, and I believe she is definitely someone I would want to marry. Questions: What if she is unwilling to be open to having our kids baptized and raised Catholic? Do I need to end the relationship? What does it mean that I have to do my best to have them raised in the faith and baptized Catholic? Thanks, Father! – L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s good that are facing these questions now. As you seem to realize, you have to make a commitment to raise the children in the Catholic faith. Your friend would need to be informed of your duty.

This is spelled out in canon law in the section on mixed marriages.

Canon 1125 says, “(1) the Catholic party declares that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of falling away from the faith and makes a sincere promise to do all in his or her power to have all the children baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

“(2) the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time of these promises which the Catholic party has to make, so that it is clear that the other party is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party.”

Now, if you have a duty before God, and your friend has no plans to help you fulfill that duty, what might that say about the prospects for a happy marriage?

Here, it seems to come down to a question of who comes first in your life: God or your friend?

In any case, it’s possible the Church might not approve the wedding if your friend is adamant in her opposition to raising the children Catholic.

As for the second question: It might be a moot issue based on how you answer the question above. If you don’t have your friend’s support, you would have to be prepared to override her decision at every step, from having the children baptized to having them catechized. Is that the kind of marriage you would want?

You are only five months into the relationship. Your friend’s sweetness might have its appeal now, but it would be good for the “glow” of the relationship to dim, so that you can look at it more realistically and spiritually.

The Church in general does not recommend mixed marriages. Religious differences can cause lots of tension as the years go on. It is worth reading the Catechism on this issue.

None of this is rules out the possibility of your friend converting or at least having a change of heart about how to the raise the children. But that is hypothetical and not something you can count on happening.

Our Retreat Guide “Three Hearts” could help you to prayerfully reflect on the reality of marriage from God’s perspective.

You might want to take some of this to prayer. And remember: someday you would have to answer before God for how you raised your children in the faith. Count on my prayers.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Girlfriend Wouldn’t Want Our Kids Raised Catholic?” Read More »

“Ask a Priest: What If My Grandkids’ Faith Is Shaky?”

November 26, 2021 / Ask a Priest

Q: I have five beautiful grandchildren, ages 16 to 24. The two oldest are in college and live with their mother in an upstairs apartment above me. They have been a big part of my life for the past nine years, ever since their parents’ divorce. I love them both very much and am concerned about their spiritual well-being. Their attitude about church and moral teachings shocks me, and I have talked to my daughter about this. She seems to be OK with whatever they think and doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. I am being accused of not loving them enough because they don’t agree with how I view our Catholic faith. Needless to say, this has created a rift between us. I don’t regret expressing my beliefs but am not sure that this is the way I should have handled it. I want us to be whole again. Please advise. I need guidance. – S.M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about the grandchildren’s position. It must be adding to the heartbreak the family has already suffered over the divorce.

It is not uncommon for young adults to rebel against Church teaching. They are at a stage of life when they are trying to find their identity and to figure out things for themselves.

Sometimes they think they need to dump the things they learned in childhood in order to start over fresh. And if they identify the Church and its teachings with their own parents, the divorce could have especially impacted their faith.

This isn’t to justify their rejection of the faith. It’s just that at this stage the best you might be able to do is to intensify your prayer for them, to be as good a witness of the faith as you can be, and to look for ways to show your love for them.

In practical terms, this means looking for opportunities to share what the faith has meant to you. The idea here is not to lecture them, but to give witness to the good things God has done in your life.

You might also look to have good books and magazines around the house — publications that catch the attention of curious eyes. This could include books like the Youth Catechism (or YouCat), the Compendium of the Catechism; and the Surprised by Truth series and other works by Patrick Madrid.

Helpful too would be having publications such as Catholic Answers magazine on the coffee table (though you’d want to read it yourself!).

If you hear dissent on certain issues of the faith, you might want to do some research in order to be able to answer objections. The Catholic Answers site has a lot of apologetics material that could help you.

And consider tuning in to Catholic radio if it’s available in your area. You could check the websites of Relevant Radio and Catholic Answers to see where they broadcast. Or download their apps. By tuning in a few times a week you can pick up a lot of knowledge of the Church and get suggestions on how to defend the faith.

Also, don’t get discouraged about the grandchildren. With God’s grace (and a grandmother’s prayers) they might come back to the faith.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Grandkids’ Faith Is Shaky?” Read More »

“Ask a Priest: What If My Ex-Seminarian Friend Has Joined the Orthodox Church?”

August 6, 2021 / Ask a Priest

Q: I am a 19-year-old Catholic girl, and recently started studying theology at a university where I met a guy. He is very nice and has a strong faith. Two years ago he was in the Catholic seminary, then he left, and about four months ago he left the Catholic Church and became Orthodox. He is truly seeking to find God and says he has fully done that in the Orthodox Church. (He is absolutely not against Catholics; he respects our Church and sees us as his brothers.) We have been dating the past weeks but not yet talked about our differences in our beliefs. What should I do, and what should I tell him? Many of my Catholic friends told me to be very careful since this guy knows a lot both about Catholics and Orthodox and that he might convince me in some way. Is it wise to keep going? Also, is it wrong of me to sometime follow him to one of his Masses? I see it only as a way of knowing more about his Church so maybe I could help him come back. Also, if he should listen to me, I feel like I also have to listen to him. What’s the most important thing I can do for this guy? – L.J.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Let me answer your last question first. The best thing you can do for him is to stay firm in your Catholic faith.

From what you describe, it would be good to proceed in this relation with caution. I mention this for a few reasons.

First, it’s one thing for a young man to leave the seminary. It’s another thing for him to leave the Catholic Church. He seems to be on a journey that has taken him away from his Catholic roots.

Second, you might want to be very careful if you think that you are going to change him and bring him back to the Catholic Church. More than a few women have made the mistake of thinking that they will change the man they date or marry.

It is possible, of course, that your friend could return to the practice of the Catholic faith. But you want to look for concrete signs of that happening. You don’t want to rely on wishful thinking.

Third, you might want to reconsider whether it’s wise to go to Orthodox services. In general, Catholics may go if they can’t find a Mass to attend (such as on a Sunday). But you want to be careful about thinking you will somehow learn enough about the Orthodox faith to persuade your friend to return to the Catholic flock.

A more likely danger is that over the course of time you will get attached to him emotionally, and at some point you will be tempted to start attending only Orthodox services, to keep the peace and make him happy.

Obviously, I don’t know what motivated him to leave the seminary and the Church. The reasons could be varied.

For now, you want to intensify your prayer for him, but to give yourself certain boundaries on what you are willing to do in terms of his affinity to the Orthodox Church

You might want to take some of this to prayer. I hope you choose wisely.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Ex-Seminarian Friend Has Joined the Orthodox Church?” Read More »

“Ask a Priest: What If a Clothes Dispute Pushed My Daughter From the Faith?”

June 8, 2021 / Ask a Priest

Q: My 17-year-old daughter has always been a devoted Catholic. She served as an altar server, and at age 16 became a reader at Mass. She trained for it and started reading and loved it. A new priest was assigned to the parish, and my daughter felt that this new priest didn’t like a 16-year-old being a reader. Soon, some members of the parish made comments about how she dressed. At first, I told my daughter to let it go and continue reading. Then I received a phone call from the rectory saying that my daughter needed to dress better. I asked what they meant by “better” (her knees showed with her skirts). My daughter broke down in tears and told me she never wants to step foot in that church again. My husband and I at this point were upset at the treatment of my daughter. I called back and said that she was removing herself from being a reader. They said they were sorry, and our family never heard from this church again. We had since moved to another parish. Since then, my daughter has gotten away from the faith, saying she feels the Church is judgmental and corrupt. She still goes to church and prays, but is now into New Age belief, too. I told her to forgive the priest and the parishioners, and she has promised me she has. But I can feel the resentment is still there. She loved volunteering and now could care less about it. Please help! – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I am sorry to hear about the situation.

It would be good to intensify your prayers for your daughter. The clothing issue is one thing — perhaps the matter could have been handled better — but it’s another for a Catholic to start embracing New Age beliefs.

It might be good to help your daughter see the Church, not primarily as an institution with imperfect human members, but as the mystical body of Christ. Jesus who suffered and died on a cross for your daughter is the Head of the Church.

It is he who gives himself in the Eucharist, who pardons sins through the sacrament of reconciliation, who blesses marriages, who teaches through the magisterium.

Jesus is at the center of the Church. He is the reason why we are here. He founded the Church. He sustains it. It is his instrument for helping people reach heaven.

Still, it is understandable that your family felt slighted in this whole incident.

It would have been better for someone at the parish to speak with your family and explain the issue and work out a mutual agreement. The cold call from the rectory without prior dialogue seemed like a bad approach.

It would give the devil a chuckle to see your daughter drift from the faith because of the length of a skirt. So, try to remember the real culprit who is lurking in the background.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: What If a Clothes Dispute Pushed My Daughter From the Faith?” Read More »

“Ask a Priest: What If My Loved Ones Don’t Live the Faith?”

April 16, 2021 / Ask a Priest

Q: A number of my loved ones, including my parents and godmother, live lives contrary to Catholic teachings and never go to confession. They haven’t been in over 20 years and don’t believe they have done anything mortally sinful. I know for a fact they have missed Mass without reason, used birth control, and honestly just need a good confession. My best friend does go to confession occasionally, but she also uses birth control and doesn’t believe it to be sinful. In my own life, not counting NFP instructors, I only know one Catholic who didn’t use birth control. I am sorry for the rant but my question is this: Is there any hope for my loved ones? Can they be saved despite the lack of going to confession and repeatedly committing mortal sins? It breaks my heart to think people I love will go to hell. I have tried to convince them to go to confession. It falls on deaf ears. I pray God will have mercy on them. – A.V.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about your friends and family members. Unfortunately, your family situation is not unique.

Many Catholics have drifted from the practice of the faith. The reasons vary. Even some Catholics who attend Mass regularly don’t always embrace Church teachings.

So what to do?

First, it’s good to remember that God alone knows the heart and mind of each person. Many people might suffer from inculpable ignorance. They are clueless about the faith. It might not be completely their fault, given the poor catechesis they received and possibly the bad example they have seen in other Catholics.

Second, there is always hope that they will see the light and return to the sacraments. This is where you own prayers and sacrifices and example might help immeasurably. You might not see the fruit of your prayers right away. That’s OK — the Holy Spirit has his moment to work in souls.

Third, you can start to look for way to catechize your relatives gently. You might leave books and pamphlets around your house that catch their eye. You might share with them (again, gently) how much confession and the Church’s teachings have helped you. Maybe you can share resources about the Church teaching on contraception, such as:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yBPmQDF5iI

https://www3.nd.edu/~afreddos/courses/264/contraception-whynot.htm

You might also pray to St. Monica and offer up Masses for your loved ones’ conversion, and let them know that you are interceding for them. This might prompt them to ask themselves, “Why is she praying so intensely for us?”

Helpful, too, might be to think about how you can help catechize young people. Perhaps you can volunteer for CCD classes or offer a theology of the body course for teens at your parish.

Above all, be hopeful but realistic. God is still in charge. But people change slowly. Try to focus on being the best Catholic you can, and don’t get discouraged if it seems as though the folks around you aren’t quite on board with the faith. We are called to be faithful, not successful.

To maintain your own spiritual life, think about using our free Retreat Guides. Count on my prayers.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Loved Ones Don’t Live the Faith?” Read More »

“Ask a Priest: How Can Faith and Theology Shape My Life?”

March 19, 2021 / Ask a Priest

Q: I’ll put this quote to you — “The religious problem grows worse each day because the faithful are not theologians and the theologians are not faithful.” How do we avoid these two opposite errors, and harmonize faith and theology for ordinary Christian life? I ask because this is what I struggle with at times. – J.N.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: While there might be some truth to that quote, it is a bit simplistic and overgeneralized.

Many generations of the lay faithful who weren’t theologians have had led saintly lives.

And there have been many theologians of profound faith (think of St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas and St. John Paul II).

The quote has merit in that many people who don’t think very deeply about Scripture or things in the Catechism think they can mix and match (and mangle) Church beliefs and practices to suit their needs. A bit of solid theology might help them.

On the other hand, there are so-called theologians who seem like borderline heretics (or worse), probably because they lack a real interior life and spirit of faith.

As for your specific question: A good place to start is to feed your heart and mind and soul on solid food, and to reach out to help others.

This means dedicating time to prayer every day (good theology is done on one’s knees), having frequent recourse to the sacraments, doing works of charity, and looking for ways to evangelize the people around you.

It helps to have a steady diet of good reading. A few quick suggestions:

— Read a few numbers of the Catechism every day, or at least its Compendium.

— Youth Catechism (or YouCat), which can appeal to all ages.

— Browse the websites of Ignatius Press, Catholic Answers, Sophia Institute, Ascension Press and OSV for resources that interest you. We also regularly produce new courses on our own online classroom to help people keep deepening their knowledge of the Catholic faith.

— For a sobering overview of the world we face, check out Cardinal Robert Sarah’s The Day Is Now Far Spent.

— To help you pray, you might turn to these books: The Better Part, Opening to God and Time for God. Also, try out our free Retreat Guides.

It might help to find a solid, regular confessor to guide you.

With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can be a prayerful theologian in your own right.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: How Can Faith and Theology Shape My Life?” Read More »

The Regnum Christi Identity

4 Vocations: 1 Spiritual Family

The Regnum Christi Mission

United States

Canada

Asia Pacific

United Kingdom

News & Resources

Prayer Resources

Media

Series

Faith Pondered

Dear Friends,

Who Holds your Key?

Dear Friends,

“Ask a Priest: What If I Don’t Feel Up to My Boyfriend’s Level of Faith?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Girlfriend Wouldn’t Want Our Kids Raised Catholic?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Grandkids’ Faith Is Shaky?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Ex-Seminarian Friend Has Joined the Orthodox Church?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If a Clothes Dispute Pushed My Daughter From the Faith?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If My Loved Ones Don’t Live the Faith?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: How Can Faith and Theology Shape My Life?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

The Regnum Christi Identity

4 Vocations: 1 Spiritual Family

The Regnum Christi Mission

United States

Canada

Asia Pacific

United Kingdom

News & Resources

Prayer Resources

Media

Series

faith

Dear Friends,

Dear Friends,

Got a question? Need an answer?

Got a question? Need an answer?

Got a question? Need an answer?

Got a question? Need an answer?

Got a question? Need an answer?

Got a question? Need an answer?

Got a question? Need an answer?

Looking for another country?

RC Near You

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Family

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta