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“Ask a Priest: Was I Wrong for Not Speaking Up?”

August 14, 2020 / Ask a Priest

Q: The guy I work for made what seemed to be a sarcastic prayer to God in front of a bunch of guys. I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit, because it was awkward, but I didn’t say anything. Did I commit a sin of some sort with my actions? Thank you. – P.R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Sometimes we get caught in awkward situations where our first reaction isn’t our best one. That the incident bothered you is a sign that your conscience is working. Perhaps the incident is worth mentioning the next time you go to confession.

What would be good, too, is to plan ahead. What will you do the next time somebody makes a similar joke?

If we prepare ourselves now, our reaction might be very different in the future. You might just look at the guy without smiling and simply walk away. Or you might say something edifying — “Our Lord isn’t like that. He’s different in this way …”

It is worth backing up a step and asking why this guy thought it was OK to make this “prayer” in your presence in the first place.

People sometimes joke about certain topics around those whom they perceive as being in their camp.

A man, for instance, might be tempted to make an off-color joke with his buddies in a bar. It’s unlikely he would do the same thing at the Thanksgiving dinner table with his mom and sisters and wife present.

Why the difference? Because he expects that his buddies will appreciate a dirty joke. He wouldn’t expect that same thing from the women closest to him (we hope). He probably already realizes that they hold to a higher standard.

The point here is that your friend might not perceive that you hold to a higher standard, too.

It might be a good moment to look for ways to give more public witness to your faith, either by your conversations or by wearing some kind of religious symbol.

This could help send out the message that you are take God seriously. And that in turn might discourage other irreverent jokes.

A helpful book might be 60 Days to Becoming a Missionary Disciple by Fr. John Bartunek, LC SThD.

So let the light of your faith shine. The world needs all the illumination it can get.

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“Ask a Priest: How Can I Evangelize?”

July 10, 2020 / Ask a Priest

Q: Is it a mortal sin not to preach the Gospel and evangelize? What is the definition of evangelization, and what are examples? – I.F.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: We need to distinguish here.

If we don’t preach the Gospel in a certain moment — for instance, to a wayward relative who happens to be visiting briefly — that might be a venial sin.

But if we go month after month, year after year, without sharing the Gospel with others, there could be a serious sin of omission.

In a particular situation it might be hard to draw a line between venial and mortal sin. God alone knows the heart of a person.

Suffice it to say that evangelization of some kind should be a part of every Catholic’s life.

What is evangelization? Let’s take a sentence from a U.S. bishops’ conference statement:

“We can rephrase his [Pope Paul VI’s] words to say that evangelizing means bringing the Good News of Jesus into every human situation and seeking to convert individuals and society by the divine power of the Gospel itself. At its essence are the proclamation of salvation in Jesus Christ and the response of a person in faith, which are both works of the Spirit of God.”

A rich read is Paul VI’s 1975 exhortation Evangelii Nuntiandi.

Examples of evangelization could be:

— Making time for prayer with your family at meals and other times of the day.

— Speaking with family members and friends about the words of Christ and the teachings of the Church.

— Getting involving in teaching CCD or doing door-to-door missions in one’s parish.

— Starting a Bible study circle or gathering a group to delve into the theology of the body.

— Supporting overseas missions with your prayers and financial donations.

— Witnessing to your faith in our neighborhood and workplace through your example, your conversations, the things your wear (crosses) or have on our desk (crucifix or picture of a saint) etc.

For more ideas, see my colleague Father Bartunek’s book, Go! 30 Meditations on How to Best Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.

Whatever your state in life, let yourself be guided by the words of 1 Corinthians 9:16 – “If I preach the gospel, this is no reason for me to boast, for an obligation has been imposed on me, and woe to me if I do not preach it!”

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“Ask a Priest: Should I Speak Up If a Boss Talks About Pursuing IVF?”

April 10, 2020 / Ask a Priest

Q: I know that we should fraternally correct others if there is an occasion for scandal. There have been some instances where I was silent about matters that were presented to me. Such as my supervisor telling me that she was lesbian and wanted to do artificial insemination and I kept quiet. Maybe I said, “Oh, really” or something like that. In another circumstance, my family members put a pirated movie on TV in a dinner we had, and I kept quiet but avoided watching it myself, although sometimes peeked because it was right in front of me. In another case, I admired someone’s hard work on a Sunday, though the work might have been unnecessary. In cases like this, when I keep quiet, am I sinning by not correcting them? Is this the sin of scandal or am I just being scrupulous? – J.L.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Fraternal correction can be an act of love and, since we are called as Christians to love, such correction can be an obligation at times.

Deciding when and how to speak up, however, takes prudence.

On the one hand, we aren’t called to go around policing others. On the other hand, we should try to educate others when there are serious issues at hand.

In the case of your supervisor, you might want to let her know that children have a right be to conceived within a real marriage, not produced in a lab. And you might also tell her that IVF often involves the destruction of tiny human lives.

For your own reading see https://www.ncbcenter.org/files/2614/3094/3360/IVFPreachingPoints.pdf.

You might share this link with your supervisor: https://www.ncbcenter.org/resources/information-topic/dignitas-personae/techniques-assisting-fertility/.

My guess is that this is hard sell. If she’s a practicing lesbian, she might not be open to the message about IVF. But here the goal is to at least share the truth with her – there are lives at stake, after all. Whether your supervisor accepts the message is another matter.

As for the pirated movie: you might choose a good time to let family members know that in general you are uncomfortable with such material. Perhaps they will at least not show it when you are around.

As for people working on Sunday: while you might not be required to lecture them (especially if you aren’t close to them), you shouldn’t be encouraging them either. In any case, the evaluation about whether the work was unnecessary is a judgment the other person needs to make for himself.

Now, don’t get discouraged with yourself. Integrating our faith with our actions and uniting all of this to evangelization is not an easy task. It takes time.

The important thing is that you don’t just drift through life keeping quiet about everything. This is one reason why the world is a mess: we Christians don’t give better witness.

In other words, a good offense is the best defense. Be open about your faith with others. This lets them know where you are coming from.

Perhaps some of this is worth taking to prayer. You certainly would want to consider praying for your supervisor, who has a long way to go in her spiritual journey.

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“Ask a Priest: Could a Catholic Teacher Evangelize in a Public School?”

January 28, 2020 / Ask a Priest

Q: I’m studying to be a literature teacher in a public high school. I considered becoming a teacher in a Catholic high school, for I feel totally alien to our current culture and values. In university I discovered how the anti-Christian mentality is being imposed by culture and how it comes to high schools with the excuse of promoting equality and tolerance. Thinking about my being forced to promote gender ideology or atheism at school is something that disgusts me. But being a Catholic teacher in a public school allows me to be different, like a soldier infiltrating in enemy land. The question is: How can I feel cool with living in that atmosphere every day? What can I do to evangelize? – Y.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your willingness to take on the secular culture is admirable.

It’s also a daunting challenge that requires prudence as well as daring. It will be very hard to be an undercover agent for Christ in a public school, but if God is calling you (you have to discern this in your heart) to do so, he will make it fruitful and give you the strength and wisdom you need.

On the prudential side it might be good to ask yourself a few questions.

First, realistically, how much will you be able to change a public school? Presumably you might be required to use certain books in the curriculum that aren’t optional — books that might transmit a lot of anti-Christian values. There might even be racy books that are occasions of sin for teenagers. Would you be comfortable assigning and teaching those books?

Moreover, how much leeway will you have to offer a Christian/Catholic perspective on literature? True, Christian values can have wide appeal; they are based on a sound anthropology, after all. Yet anything that sounds like a religious take might go against established rules and laws. This isn’t meant as a defense of these laws. It’s just that legally the deck might be stacked against you.

Another question deals with something that economists call opportunity costs. That is, if you decide to teach at a public school, you would be giving up the chance to teach a more-receptive audience in a Christian/Catholic school. You could spend your life trying to fight a public school system that won’t budge, while giving up the chance to form a generation of young Catholics who will carry on the faith.

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t take on the anti-Christian culture around us. Evangelization requires stamina. For ideas on how to evangelize, you might want to read Go! 30 Meditations on How Best to Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. You could go through those meditations each day for a month, asking God for light about what decision to make, and see where your heart is drawn.

You might keep in mind other ways to challenge the secular culture. A pro-Christian blog about literature could be a resource for others and help readers engage in healthy dialogue with the culture around them. You could do the blog in your spare time and not have to worry about stepping on toes at a public school.

Perhaps this is something to take to prayer. Maybe you should speak with your confessor or spiritual director. You might even seek out advice from Catholic teachers or homeschooling circles. May the Spirit guide you.

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“Ask a Priest: Should We Put More of a Spotlight on Miracles?”

December 31, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: I’ve been a Catholic for 27 years and I’m just now learning about the Eucharistic miracle of Argentina in 1996. My question is this: As an evangelical Church, why don’t we lean into these miracles more sternly? Especially with as science-obsessed as our culture has become, it seems like it might be a wonderful evangelical tool. Is there something I should be cautious about if I lean into a Eucharistic miracle as an evangelist? – J.K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: While miracles can give a great boost to a person’s faith, their effectiveness in evangelization is sometimes limited.

There are exceptions, of course. One miracle that had enormous impact on evangelization was the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe which appeared in 1531 in Mexico and which helped to convert millions of the indigenous people to the faith.

But that was something of an exception. Miracles, including Eucharistic miracles, aren’t always the great persuaders that we think they should be.

Miracles require a bit of faith or at least an openness to the supernatural. This isn’t always present in people. This might explain why even today some people simply shrug when they look at the image of Guadalupe or read about the miracle of the sun at Fatima or hear the evidence of Eucharistic miracles. Such skeptics simply remain unconvinced.

None of this is new in history. Jesus did numerous miracles – feeding the multitudes, curing the sick, raising the dead – yet he still faced skepticism. Remarkably, even people who knew of Our Lord’s miracles taunted him on Calvary. “He saved others; he cannot save himself. … Let him come down from the cross now, and we will believe in him” (Matthew 27:42).

Perhaps all this is one reason why the Church might seem to downplay miracles when it comes to evangelization. To unbelievers and skeptics the miracles might seem like pious fables.

Moreover (and this might sound odd), miracles don’t reveal anything new about the faith. In fact, they aren’t considered by the Church to be essential to the faith.

All the most important truths of the faith for our salvation have already been revealed by Christ, though we are still unpacking the contents of his teaching. Those truths are accessible in Church teaching.

What this means in practice is that the Church bases its work of evangelization more on the preaching of the Gospel and on works of charity rather than on the extraordinary occurrence of miracles.

For conversion means to accept Christ as savior and to live in accord with his teaching. Conversions based on miracles, while valuable at times, can be shaky. Unless a person undergoes a change of heart, the allure of a miracle can fade.

None of this is meant to denigrate miracles. They can be a great help to a person’s faith. But they won’t always be an enduring motive for turning one’s life over to Christ. This kind of commitment requires a deeper, long-lasting response from a person.

(For more reading, and a different perspective, see https://www.catholic.com/index.php/magazine/online-edition/miracles-and-evangelism.)

Whenever you are involved in the work of evangelization, a first step will be your own prayer life.

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“Ask a Priest: How Can I Evangelize My Atheist Friends?”

July 9, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: I have some close friends who are atheists. We get along great, and I love them dearly! They know I’m Catholic as I’ve talked about going to Mass, Lent, choir and avoiding eating meat on Fridays. I don’t hide what I am, but I’m not overly loud about it. I felt that by being a good influence and being close to God, my example might be a way to evangelize. However, reading the Bible and hearing the portion about telling people when they are sinning … that sort of thing gives me a lot of anxiety. I’m a very awkward person and am bad with timing on things like this. Also, my friends sometimes seem to be defensive when the conversation strays too close to religion. I’m not sure what to do. Am I supposed to vocally evangelize them and point out their sins? I feel like I struggle with my own sins enough that I feel like a hypocrite. Would you provide me with some guidance? Is there a way to go about evangelizing and helping others find God without being so direct? If I joined my local RCIA group to help others to join, would that count as helping to evangelize others? – M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Thanks for your interest in evangelizing your friends.

You are asking the right questions, and fact that you are feeling unsure about this area of evangelization is an invitation from the Lord to begin to understand more completely this dimension of your life.

When trying to evangelize atheists, we need to start with some basics.

First is our prayer life. We need to pray for those whom we are trying to bring closer to Our Lord.

Second is our example of charity.

Third is our depth of thought. This doesn’t mean that we have to be rocket scientists. But it helps if we come across as thoughtful and logical and willing to dialogue.

Those are three quick points to keep in mind.

It is good to remember that evangelizing means living an integral dimension of our lives as Christians. It should be part of what we do day by day. We should want to share our faith with others.

Evangelization isn’t the same as proselytism. The latter is when we try to recruit people to our cause. That isn’t what evangelizing is about. It’s more a sharing of our faith in a gentle way, with an eye toward helping people learn about Christ and drawing them closer to him.

There is no simple formula for evangelizing. Rather, it involves a complex set of factors. Let me throw out a few suggestions for your consideration.

First, to share the faith, it helps to understand it well. This you can do by serious reading. There are lots of resources for this, among them:

— RC Spirituality (this site), which helps people in their prayer life as well as in their ongoing formation.

— Catholic Answers (https://www.catholic.com/), which has a wealth of apologetic material.

— Publishers such as Ignatius Press, OSV, Ascension Press, Sophia Institute, etc., which offer hundreds of fine books.

Second, you might focus on material that helps you deal with evangelization specifically.

The book Go! 30 Meditations on How Best to Love Your Neighbor as Yourself, was written precisely to answer the type of questions you raise: What is the missionary dimension of my Christian identify? How am I supposed to live it out? What does “evangelization” really mean for me?

If you read that book, 30 short chapters, one per day, you would find a lot of light.

Third — and this is more for your sake — you want to step back occasionally and ask yourself how your relationship with your atheist friends is going. Are you changing them for the better? Or are they changing you for the worse?

Here, it might be good to network with faith-filled people too. Being in community with believers can strengthen your own faith.

The idea here is that you don’t want to get worn down by the atheists around you, or to let their lack of faith hurt your beliefs.

You mention the RCIA. The RCIA can be good for learning about the faith if the program is well run. The quality can be uneven. That is why I recommend those publishers and websites, which are pretty solid.

As for correcting your friends: it might be good to go easy here, since they don’t sound as though they are ready to hear corrections. They need to discover the richness of Jesus first.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

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“Ask a Priest: What If Friends Seem to Ignore My Catholic Faith?”

June 21, 2019 / Ask a Priest

Q: I am a Catholic teenager who lives in a predominantly Protestant community. All of my friends are Protestant. We don’t talk about religion much unless it’s something we already know we agree on. We are incredibly close, but my friends don’t seem to remember a lot of the time lately that I’m Catholic. The most recent thing that’s happened is that my best friend and her sister are going to Ecuador on a mission trip because, as they say, “Most people there don’t have a personal relationship with God.” Ecuador is predominantly Catholic, but they have asked us for money so they can go over and try to make people Protestants. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and it hurts my feeling quite a bit; firstly, because they think that way of my faith, and secondly, because it didn’t even occur to them that this would be hurtful to me. I want to deal with this lovingly. Do you have any suggestions? Thank you. – R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is good that your friends seem to have a love for Christ and that they have a desire to help others to have a personal relationship with God.

The key to understanding your difficulty with your friends might be found in your e-mail. You write, “We don’t talk about religion much unless it’s something we already know we agree on.” Maybe that is a source of the problem.

By only talking about things that you and your friends agree on, you are probably keeping quiet about things that distinguish the Catholic faith from Protestant beliefs.

If that is the case, it is understandable that your friends would either forget about your Catholicism or fail to see any real differences between your faith and theirs. Your friendships might be built on the common ground of a less-than-full-strength Christianity.

By this I don’t mean to disparage the faith of your friends. Their faith could be strong and sincere. Nevertheless, Protestantism overlooks some of the great treasures that Christ intends for his followers to take advantage of. These treasures include the sacraments of confession and the Eucharist; the magisterium, or teaching authority, of the Church; and the special help of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

From what you describe, you seem to be keeping low-key about your Catholic beliefs in the hopes of fitting in with your pals. It is no wonder that they assume they can ask you to support endeavors that would, in effect, undercut the Catholic faith of other people, such as those in Ecuador.

To repeat: it’s quite likely that your friends are sincere in their faith. And they probably mean no offense to you. They have simply discounted your Catholic faith and are moving ahead with what they think is a wholesome form of evangelization.

So, what might you do?

First, you might ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Ask him to strengthen you so that you share the Catholic faith with your friends.

If you are worried about alienating them, then you might ask yourself how genuine the friendships are. Real friends want the best for each other. Real friends can accept each other for who they are.

If you believe Catholicism is the fullest expression of what Christ wants for us, why not share that with your friends? And if your friends only accept you so long as you keep your Catholicism low-key, what does that tell you?

Before sharing the faith, you might want to read up on it more. There are lots of practical books that could prepare you to speak about the faith, among them The Essential Catholic Survival Guide. A further list of helpful books could be found at https://www.catholic.com/tract/apologists-bookshelf.

If sharing your Catholic faith with your friends leads to tensions and breakups, then it might be a moment to move on and look for other friends.

Depending on your locale, this might take a special effort. You might seek out Catholic friends through Church activities such as volunteer work. Or you might look to get involved in Catholic works of evangelization, such as Regnum Christi’s Mission Youth program.

Your Protestant friends obviously aren’t bashful about sharing their faith abroad. That is a lesson to be imitated, abroad as well as close to home.

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23 RC Missionaries in Kazakhstan

September 25, 2018 / APP News Feed

23 Regnum Christi missionaries from Poland recently did missions in Kazakhstan together with two Legionary priests.

From July 18-29, a group of 23 Regnum Christi members and members of Młodzież Trzeciego Tysiąclecia (Youth for the Third Millennium) Missions traveled to Shchuchinsk, Kazakhstan for an evangelizing parish mission. Fr. Mariusz Kiełbasa, LC, and Fr. Matthew Devereux, LC, accompanied them. Fr. Rafał and Sr. Rufina ran the parish where they did missions and took care of logistics for the mission.

Fr. Matthew Devereux, LC, commented: “Kazakhstan is a Muslim country with a population of 18 million.  Of course, the Word of God cannot be restricted, but there were some limitations when it came to evangelizing.  Open evangelization is illegal and that is why we dedicate ourselves to participate in the life of the parish and to help people in whatever need they have.

“We visited the parishioners in their homes, we pray and sing with them.  Most people just wanted to talk, sing and pray together.” Fr. Matthew continued, “Since it is illegal to evangelize, Catholics are committed to an hour of worship before each Mass.  Since they cannot talk to people about Jesus, they tell Jesus about the people.”

The parish that the missionaries were evangelizing had 70 members, the vast majority of them with Polish ancestry who only speak Russian.  Fr Matthew explained communication between the missionaries and parish members: “Because Polish and Russian belong to the same Slavic language family, in a couple of days communication was no longer a barrier.  The Poles with whom we had contact are descendants of those sent to the Soviet Gulags or simply exiled to inhabit the Russian hinterlands.  Most of them were very happy to listen, pray and sing Polish anthems. It was interesting to note that, although they could not speak it, they knew by heart Polish prayers.”

This story was translated from the international Spanish-language Regnum Christi site.

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“Ask a Priest: Should I Be Preaching to People?”

May 12, 2017 / Ask a Priest

Q: This might sound like a silly question, but I was wondering when I should be preaching to people. I really want to spread my faith, but what if people think it’s weird if I just randomly start talking about Jesus with them? Won’t it turn some people off? Also, if I should be preaching, how should I do it? Thanks so much! – M.T.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Preaching normally refers to the homily at Mass and is done by an ordained minister.

If you mean day-to-day “advice,” then the best preaching is your personal example. Your charity in word and deed is one of the best ways to preach the Gospel to others. People tend to believe Christians only if they see them living the Gospel fully.

Although it is laudable and necessary to speak of Jesus, it takes prudence to say the right thing at the right moment; otherwise, people will tune out.

Try to engage people in respectful conversation and look for opportunities where you can witness to your faith. That is, look for moments when you can speak about how your faith has helped you. This is different from “telling people what to do.”

The desire you are experiencing to share your faith is definitely an inspiration from the Holy Spirit. The question you ask shows that you are not sure how to respond to that inspiration. My colleague Father John Bartunek has written a book that seems well designed for your situation. “Go! 30 Meditations on How Best to Love Your Neighbor as Yourself” explores the missionary dimension of every Christian’s life, and gives advice about how to use our words, works and witness to spread the Gospel.

Again, the best first step is your own example of charity. Work on that, keep up your prayer life and sacramental life, and the Holy Spirit will guide you to say the right thing at the right moment.

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“Ask a Priest: Was I Wrong for Not Speaking Up?”

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“Ask a Priest: How Can I Evangelize?”

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“Ask a Priest: Should I Speak Up If a Boss Talks About Pursuing IVF?”

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“Ask a Priest: Could a Catholic Teacher Evangelize in a Public School?”

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“Ask a Priest: Should We Put More of a Spotlight on Miracles?”

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“Ask a Priest: How Can I Evangelize My Atheist Friends?”

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“Ask a Priest: What If Friends Seem to Ignore My Catholic Faith?”

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